Franny, JD Salinger

"I know this much, is all," Franny said. "If you're a poet, you do something beautiful. I mean you're supposed to LEAVE something beautiful after you get off the page and everything."

Catharsis

Dogs are better than people

I was up writing in my new studio and Nelson came looking for me. I asked him to wait for me over here, and he curled up and waited. Hours ago. He will wait here until the end of time if I asked him to, because he, more than anyone I have met, understands what unconditional love is. I'm going back to work, and he'll be here ready to cuddle when I'm done.

Things I've learned I can do while sobbing

Fly across the country
Collect my bags
Unpack my bags
Take showers
Wash dishes
Write emails
Write stories
Watch movies
Make breakfast
Throw out un-eaten breakfast
Devise and complete art projects
Carry on conversations
Go running
Do laundry
Make tea
Go to the movies
Take the dogs to the park

Sweet agony

"although he had alluded in many a poem to the "happy pain" or even the "sweet agony" of love, he had not understood that the agony could be worse than any other sort of agony - worse than any actual pain of the limbs or organs, worse even than the way his head felt after a night out drinking, which he has previously thought could not be outdone for misery. And there was no way to separate a wounded heart from the body it tormented"

soul-crushing pain update

the more i look at the header image on this blog, the more i realize how representative it is of my current state.

the only way it would be more representative is if it included a nick in my carotid artery that continually pulsed tarantinto-esque amounts of blood all over me.

still hurting

"the thing about love is that it brings out the best
in you, but it could also bring out the worst—
all your fears, rage, self-doubt. don’t mess
around with it. it’ll blow up in your face."