enough.

"i find anything but cigar butts in my ashtray theres gonna be war around the place."

i dont know what to say.
theres been some concern over the last week about my general mental health. im fine. promise.

its just that i seem to have a special skill for finding people that cant possibly value me, and im done asking myself why im not enough.

im smart (if you ignore that bit about dropping out of college), im funny (if you like black humor), im hot as all hell (but for being practically bald), im not completely falling apart - not yet, anyway - so im tired of asking whats wrong with me. im tired of not being enough by somebody else's standards.

see that? i just mustered up a bit of defiance. maybe ive got some fight left in me after all.

my doc wants me back on the prozac but i wont do it. id rather live in this blind depression than try to force through the numbness.

i dont know whats going to happen, i dont know what i want to happen. i do know i cant keep living like this, drifting like this.

a person needs a purpose, and i havent got one. if youre not aiming at something how do you know youre moving forward? how do you know youre moving at all?

maybe i am alone, but youre the reason im lonely.