ive been staying with my parents longer than i intended bc theyll be going on a well-deserved vacation soon and i volunteered to dog-sit for them. so ive also been reminded of just how small a town i come from.
an employee of my moms went to the doctor yesterday. her doctor's daughter is a girl i went to high school with. knowing that this woman works with my mom, but not knowing that they're friends, this doctor told her that "that alex reisner, you know she was a drug addict in high school. she even went to rehab AND she bought her drugs from an old man..." eyebrows raised, implications made.
now, im open about the problems i have. i know that im an addict, and that isnt something that can be cured, and i encourage other addicts or friends of addicts to have open, honest conversations with me about what i went through and continue to face. i write about my experiences here hoping to make it clear that as addicts, we are not freaks, we are all different, and none of us deserves to be treated like shit because of our disease.
education is the key. i guarantee that everyone has a close friend or family member struggling with this, and there are as many ways to get through it as there are people trying.
telling these stories when you dont know them, in the dark, in whispers and behind closed doors, is helpful to no one. and on that note, how dare you, dr.
i know that i come from a small town, and my openness and honesty is not just painful to me, but to my parents, because they have to live here and hear this fucking gossip. that hurts me. i wish i could save them from that. i wish that i could save them from the consequences of my choices, but they are my family. they have decided to stand by me and bear that small-town gossip with me, and i owe them a greater debt than i think anyone could repay. but i love them, and they love me, and so we stand together against your malice and your ignorance, dr.
so, to everyone who has made choices they do not regret, but who must defend them constantly against this kind of malicious gossip and willful stupidity, know you are not alone. those of you in tiny, bullshit towns populated by people who think they know you, and think they can judge you: they dont and they cant. stand up, stand proudly, do not avert your eyes or change your history to make it more palatable to anyone.
its the best way to piss off the people who tell lies about you.
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i come from a small town as well. people judge me because i dress differently or act differently. and my mom is always like "you need to act differently because people talk." fuck that. what hurts me is my mom is embarrassed to be seen with me when i dress the way i feel most comfortable dressing. also, i really can't explain the immensity of the fuck i do not give about what people think of me. This is really heartfelt post, alex, and i applaud your openess and honesty. It's important to educate and encourage people to talk to others. One of my best friends used to be an addict and she comes from the same town I do. I had a minor addict phase in my life as well and I know what people say behind my back. Thanks for shining light on this.
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