oh bondage, up yours!

poly styrene died last night.

in completely unrelated news, i watched the bill hicks documentary last night with my axman (while poly styrene was dying of cancer).
if a person dies in any proximity to me, i ought to notice that. it should cause some kind of ripple in the collective unconscious, or if you think thats bullshit, if someone dies within a few feet of me i should feel the loss of magnetism or SOMEthing. Maybe this is something i only think about because i live in such extreme proximity to hundreds of thousands of complete strangers. At any given time there have to be about 20 people within a 30 foot radius of where ever i am - every room im in is surrounded by rooms on all sides, including above and below. there are two nursing homes and a rehab just on my block - each with several hundred patients i will never know, whose stories ill never ever hear or imagine or be able to understand. thousands of people ill never be able to relate to, bearing their own crosses directly in front of me, and i never ever interact with them in any way. if humanity truly is any kind of fraternity, if any unity or common truth exists between us as a species, i ought to feel something when these people living entire lives not 30 feet away from me die.

anyway, im starting to think im not actually depressed as much as im constantly discovering deeper and deeper truths about life and reacting to them appropriately.