a new gumball machine

i stayed up inexplicably late last night, reading and, um, "having some me time". so i woke up around noon and noticed a sore throat and runny nose - hello, head-cold. great.
so i started my day with a solid ass-fuck courtesy of orbitz and delta airlines, then walked the dog for awhile. he ran around with another local dane and they played and had a great time.
on the way home i needed to hit a bodega for chicken soup and peanut butter, which is what i use to get nelson to take his meds. i tied him to this huge gumball machine outside the bodega on the corner, and when i turned to walk inside nelson tripped over his leash, causing the machine the fall over. this scared the shit out of him, so he took off running. with the gumball machine. he dragged it on 106th st from amsterdam to columbus before i caught him.
so now i have to buy the bodega a new gumball machine. i tried to pay the guy off on the spot, but he wouldnt take cash. he did take my contact info and say hell send me the receipt.
ive been awake for about three hours and have been brutally fucked thrice. i surrender, universe. im going back to bed. ill try again tomorrow.