on being a muse

Muse   
[myooz]
–noun
1.Classical Mythology .

a. any of a number of sister goddesses, originally given as Aoede (song), Melete (meditation), and Mneme (memory), but latterly and more commonly as the nine daughters of zeus and Mnemosyne who presided over various arts: Calliope (epic poetry), Clio (history), Erato (lyric poetry), Euterpe (music), Melpomene (tragedy), Polyhymnia (religious music), Terpsichore (dance), Thalia (comedy), and Urania (astronomy); identified by the Romans with the Camenae.

b. any goddess presiding over a particular art.

2. ( sometimes lowercase ) the goddess or the power regarded as inspiring a poet, artist, thinker, or the like.

3. ( lowercase ) the genius or powers characteristic of a poet.


Muse 2 (mjuːz)
— noun
a goddess that inspires a creative artist, esp a poet


Word Origin & History

muse
late 14c., protectors of the arts, from L. Musa , from Gk. Mousa , lit. "muse, music, song,



ive been called a muse by many artists, which is a signnificant accomplishment for me. in my childhood i never wanted to be the guy standing up to the mic, i wanted to be the girl waiting for him on the side of the stage. and ive done that. ive inspired photographers, musicians, writers, directors - i was even painted once. a few of my closest friends are muses too, and we've been talking lately about what it really means.
it means to make your entire life a performance art piece, and then allow that performance, your own creative energy, to be absorbed by 'real artists.' its exhilarating, every time you hear a song you know was written just about you played, especially to see it played live - its a feeling that cant be described. it makes it worth it when you've been sucked dry, when you have no more creative energy left, when youre broke and hungry and couch-surfing while the artists who sing your life stories get paid (and paid. and paid.).
its still worth it, because for four years i was the girl waiting for my man at the side of the stage, and if i had anything left in me to give id still be in new york, living the life that somebody else will sing about or write about.
but for now i have to regrow my Self, because i am so empty now. they took everything there was to take, and i let them. i didnt think id become disposable. but like it says on the hypodermics that were once a part of my daily life, "use just once and destroy." they did.
this is why im spending all my time alone now. i need to find my creative voice again, but im too old to be a muse again, so this time ill have to inspire myself. its time to tell my own stories.